Modern vs. 19th Century Love Letters
HOW HAS THE ART OF SHARING OUR DEEPEST FEELINGS CHANGED SINCE THE TIME OF BEETHOVEN?
The goal of the love letters episode was to dive into an art that seemed long lost. And to do that, I had to pre-supposed that we lost something… But early on in my research the uncovering of Bill Shapiro’s Other People’s Love Letters: 150 Love Letters You Were Never Meant to See served as an unexpected reminder that we still convey love in writing in new and different ways. So how, then, did the art of sharing our feelings in the written word change? When does a love letter stop being a letter at all? And when it does, does it still “count?” It seemed a worthy line of questioning to pursue if this episode was going to stand on its legs.
Now, to be clear, my findings were hardly scientific. I was practically donning pink, heart-shaped goggles every time I Google searched “love letter of…”. In dubbing each letter to be one of “love”, every author, museum, or curator had created a filter, a lens that I couldn’t quite get rid of — not without a 10-year research fellowship and a nice pile of grant money anyway. I’d had about two weeks to absorb as much as I could, and with Napoleon being alleged to have written over 20,000 letters himself, I could hardly dig into the letters of one man, let alone several to understand which letters should be included in my review.
I also had to admit: it’s entirely possible that the letters I was being fed had withstood a test of time — that the lovely message on a bar napkin or calling card, simply hadn’t survived or made the cut. Did John Adams ever write Abigail a hasty note on the back of a matchbook? Did Byron ever write rip the page out of a book to write a sudden line? Was it simply less adorable to share Napoleon’s ruder missives? Are all of these lesser writings sitting in a pile somewhere, yet to be shared all over the interwebs?
I can’t personally say.
Bill Shapiro clearly made a wide cut when finding content for his book; his modern love letters were deep, raw, unfiltered, sometimes even lewd. And they also showed up on paper, post-its and playing cards. His collection clearly showed love in all its weird, and confusing glory, in a way that some of his earlier peers may not have. We can’t really know what biases went into his work, or what biases went into the work of his forebears; after all, as Tansy Rayner Roberts said, “history is imperfect and biased, and it always, always has omissions.”
But if I’m to take all of the authors I used in my research at their word, and call everything I read a love letter, then the comparison between older and newer love letters is quite interesting.
Love letters from the 19th century are all handwritten.
“HANDWRITING HAS ITS PLACE — ONE VERY DIFFERENT FROM OTHER MEDIUMS.”
“duh”. It was all they had — I mean, you can’t use things that aren’t invented yet, right? One thing I did find very interesting though, and that many, many people agree on, is that, had there been typewriters or other mechanisms to write, people would have used them. Even though many of my interviewees simply loved the idea of handwriting and believed it withstood the test of time, everyone agreed that it didn’t necessarily mean that all other forms of communication should be thrown out in the cold. Jan said that if Beethoven had had a typewriter, he would have used it. Brittany explained how she and Charles both used email to communicate, using letters as next-level, above the daily “just checking in” email. Handwriting has its place — one very different from other mediums.
Later love letters were in very mixed mediums.
We’re not just talking just handwriting vs. type here. In his book Other People’s Love Letters: 150 Love Letters You Were Never Meant to See, Bill Shapiro’s collection of love letters includes blogs, emails, drawings, post-it notes, napkins, ripped papers, even a king of hearts card. Some were in handwriting or done by typewriters, while others were text or even SMS texts. It wasn’t just that they were or were not typed, but that they made it to the sender in different ways, showed emotions through varying, creative messaging.
It’s a bit unfair of a comparison — besides perhaps drawing it out, how else might you send a written love letter from a battlefield in Russia? Maybe a barbershop quartet of some sort? Still — the point stands.
Modern love letters often included the things we didn’t want to say another way.
Because you COULD say all of these things some other way in today’s world — via text or in person or via Facebook — it seems that many of the letters collect by Shapiro included things that people didn’t necessarily WANT to say another way. Some letters had drama; some even suggested that they couldn’t say it in person — that they were writing specifically to avoid the one-on-one conversation.
Interestingly, none of the love letters from the past seemed to have this same connotation. I suspect this comes from a measure of etiquette. In Regency-era Britain, for example, it was considered impolite to put bad news in a letter unless it as 1) a certainty and 2) necessary to put in writing. During the same period, it was similarly considered improper to end an engagement by mail.
Whenever love letters were written — and regardless of who was calling them a “love letter” at all — it seems that they all did contain one thing: a deep sense of emotion. The emotion wasn’t uniform; some were elated, some were sad, some shared deep conviction, and some came off as just delightful. But all had a sense that the writer was putting their heart on paper — whether because they were separated by war in the 1800s or separated by their thoughts in the 2000s. Perhaps they shouldn’t be called a love letter after all. How about a “heart letter” instead?
For more on love letters, Beethoven, and my not-technically-historic critiques check out…
Are Love Letters Dead? - Was Is Could Be, Season 1, Episode 1 - A look at Beethoven’s mysterious love letters, the purpose of letter writing, and why we should bring it back.
Beethoven Meets Big - A look at the role of Beethoven’s Immortal Beloved Letters in the Sex and the City movie, featuring podcast interviewee Jennifer Silvershein.
Beethoven’s Immortal Beloved Letters - What are these letters all about anyways? Check them out for yourself - translated and all.
What I’ve Learned About Love Letters - A few months of research will do something to you. Here’s my main takeaways from a summer of reading other people’s love letters.
Love? From? - My own love letters in review. This is pretty embarrassing.